The Intervention Captain
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Before senior year starts, Jeff drunkenly tells Britta that he plans to leave the study group to stop being tempted by Annie. In response, Britta leads the rest of the group in an intervention to make Jeff stay and face his feelings. Jeff/Annie centric.


**Although the lead characters are classified as Jeff and Britta, this is really a Jeff/Annie story. But I couldn't list Annie as the second character because Annie herself is barely in it, and Britta is really the second lead here. I also listed romance as the lead category due to the Jeff/Annie angle, even though it isn't a romantic Jeff/Britta story. Forgive me for the somewhat misleading but technically halfway accurate labels and enjoy anyway.**

Jeff was all too used to weird texts from Britta in between the snarky ones. But tonight's text telling him to come to the study room at 7:30 p.m. was more confounding than usual – at least in context. It wouldn't be weird at all on most nights, but since this one was sent three days before Greendale reopened for the 2012 fall semester, it triggered a little head scratching.

If this was a final group party for the summer, Jeff figured that their end-of-summer blowout at Pierce's mansion last week fit that bill. If it reflected on how their final year at Greendale was starting soon, Jeff figured the blowout checked that off as well. Yet whatever this was, Jeff brought himself to get up and check it out.

After all, if this was some kind of final meeting for something, it would be more final for Jeff than the others could know. Hopefully, keeping it a secret from them and her wouldn't take too much out of him tonight.

Although Greendale was technically still closed, it was hardly an obstacle for Jeff and the group to get around. Considering what Chang did in his final days as security guard last semester, security wasn't going to be tight – or even existent – for some time. So Jeff easily got into the library and headed for the study room, which was already open and well populated by then.

When Jeff entered the room, it looked like he was the last one there – so at least he would keep being fashionably late right to the end. But he soon noted more unusual things, like how the group was actually quiet and was looking right at him, and how his chair was already pulled out for him. And then Jeff saw that he wasn't the last one here after all.

"Where's Annie?" Jeff blurted out, forgetting he should be relieved that she wasn't here yet. Remembering that then forced Jeff to focus on the group – yet that hardly helped as Britta seemed to give him a knowing glance over that last question. Before Jeff could think over why that was – or worse, compare Britta's glance to Annie's much more powerful ones – he noticed that Abed had gotten up to close the door.

"Have a seat, Jeff," Britta half-asked and half-demanded. If Britta was trying to be commanding, at least this would provide some laughs. So Jeff sat down and waited for the punch line, hoping it would hold him over even after Annie arrived.

"We're all here because we care about you….or at least tolerate you," Britta started. "Pierce came for the cookies, but he ate them all while we were waiting for you."

"Hey, if he wants to leave us, he doesn't get a cookie!" Pierce yelled out while ignoring the cookie crumbs all over his lips. "I stopped you before you could offer him one as a good bye gift! So who really needed the intervention here?"

"Pierce, you ruined my whole intro! You're wrecking my intervention captain authority before I even got started!" Britta proclaimed, which hardly made Jeff less confused beyond all belief.

"Oh captain my captain, a little help here?" Jeff asked, relieved that he still had jokes to cling to. "Granted, you leading an intervention sounds hilarious, no matter what it's for. But a little more context might help me bust more of a gut."

"Come on, Jeff, like Pierce didn't give it away for me! We know, all right? Or more accurately, I know and then let everyone else know! But you let me know first in the car, so don't take it out on me, you know?" Britta rambled.

"The last thing I'm doing is…._knowing _anything at the moment," Jeff got out.

"Oh good, he forgot he wants to leave the group so he doesn't bone Annie. Now we've just got to wipe it from _our _memories too and it's all over!" Troy cheered. "I'll miss thinking about you boning Annie, but if that's what it takes, you owe me big for my sacrifice, buddy!"

"Troy! Stop undermining your intervention captain! Now Abed will do it too, and that'll open the floodgates for Shirley, and then it'll be anarchy! Isn't actually _hating _that tonight painful enough for me?" Britta pleaded before turning to Jeff. "I hope you're happy for putting that on me, Jeff! One last little screw you for the road, is that what you wanted?" Before Pierce could say something gross from those words, Britta yelled "Don't you have cookie crumbs to lick, Pierce?"

"Oh, right! Don't worry, I'll tell you why that's what Lee Meriweather said when I'm done!" Pierce proclaimed as he licked the cookie crumbs off his lips and eyed the ones still on Shirley's plate. With Pierce now distracted, Jeff had a chance to actually ask some questions, and start denying he heard Britta and Troy right.

"Okay, before we start Pierce's cookie addiction intervention….what makes you think _I_ need one? Where did you get the idea that I'm leaving the study group or that I want to 'bone' Annie?" Jeff inquired, wondering how they could have possibly found him out.

"Jeff, you seriously don't remember any of it?" Britta double-checked. "Well then, as intervention captain, I get to rub it in your face now. That should restore some order around here – not that disorder is bad _anywhere _else, before you get ideas!"

_Britta's self-proclaimed rise to intervention captain began a week ago, after the group's end-of-summer party at Pierce's mansion. Some had clearly honored the end of summer more than others, with Jeff squarely leading the charge. He was obviously too drunk to drive home, and since Shirley argued that Annie shouldn't have to do it – and thoroughly pointed out that drunk Jeff couldn't ride in her backseat with the kids – this left Britta, Troy, Abed and Pierce to "Rock, Paper, Scissors" for it._

_Two rounds and one Britta rant about paper oppressing rock later, Britta struggled to keep Jeff on his feet as they headed to her car. "Come on, Jeff, my rock revolution against paper already failed tonight! Give me a break here and stand on at least one foot by yourself!"_

"_Oh Britta….in my weaker moments, I'll miss your ranting when I'm gone," Jeff slurred._

"_Say that when you're sober next May and I'll be more impressed," Britta shrugged off as he finally got Jeff into the passenger's seat, then got in the car herself to drive it to Jeff's apartment._

"_I won't be seeing you next May….I won't be seeing any of ya," Jeff kept slurring as Britta got them on the road._

"_Yeah, yeah, you have your dinner appointment after graduation, I remember," Britta humored him._

"_No, I mean I won't see ya 'cause I'm leaving the study group now, duh doy!" Jeff laughed drunkenly._

"_Ha ha, very funny. The group almost breaks up on the first day every September, you know. So why you do think it'll happen this time?" Britta tried to play along._

"_I'm either just not gonna show up in the study room, or just slowly drop our classes together. I haven't picked yet," Jeff mindlessly answered. "Either way, you guys'll never see me again pretty soon…..neither will she. But she'll see it's the only way….you guys'll tell her there wasn't another way, right?"_

"_Who am I supposed to tell this too?" Britta asked, as this was starting to feel a little serious – especially since she strongly suspected who 'her' was._

"_Annie, doy! Sweet little way too sexy Annie….she thought that two piece would lure me back in today, but Mr. Alcohol was a stronger temptress than she was! You were right, gay marriage is cool!" Jeff cheered._

"_Oh God, not this again…" Britta lamented. "Can't you just keep it in your pants a little while longer? You've lasted this long, one more year can't kill you!"_

"_But it will….it'll kill me and it'll kill her. I can't kill her, so I gotta kill myself. Get rid of the temptation…." Jeff laid out. "If I'm not around her, I can't kiss her or be with her and destroy her life. And if I'm not around you guys, you can't nag me to death and lure me back to her! A clean break's the only thing that'll work, it's brilliant!"_

"_Jeff, stop talking crazy just because you can't have sex with her," Britta complained._

"_You think it's just 'cause I can't have sex? Granted, it'd be great, though I wouldn't last a minute around her the first time….not that I timed myself picturing it or nothing," Jeff poorly corrected. "I can't kiss her or hug her or watch her smile at me….or watch Disney movies without thinking about her neither! I didn't care about doing that stuff with anyone till now….but it's not enough. If I do that, I'll just ruin her in the end….I knew that once I stopped kissing her after we beat Chang."_

"_What? You kissed her to end the year AGAIN?" Britta snapped, though it wasn't like she didn't suspect it, considering how they led the charge to end Chang's dictatorship in Paintball War III._

"_No, it's different this time! This time I talked to her during the summer! This time I told her we had to stay friends before the first day back! That's progress, just not enough of it…." Jeff rationalized. "She took me back this time, but I'll just make her do it again and again if I'm near her this year. I can't wreck her like that anymore...but I can't be near her without wanting to be….well, near her anymore either! At least not sober, anyway!" Jeff giggled while pointed at his drunken reflection in the car mirror._

"_Come on, Jeff, you're just drunk," Britta said to convince him and herself. "You don't want to leave the study group just so you don't kiss Annie again. You're only saying that because she made you horny today."_

"_Yeah, well she even makes me horny when she's covered up everything, so ha ha!" Jeff bragged, before going back to being a guilty drunk. "She makes me a lot of things I shouldn't be….things I know I can't be. Not forever, anyway. It hurts too much to remember that when I'm near her….so I gotta go. I'll find another study room and change classes and even take night classes if I gotta!" At that last statement, Britta realized Jeff really wasn't kidding._

_Drinking did seem to make people more honest – another reason why the white male power structure wanted wars on drugs. But for once, this might not have been the time to think about that. "Jeff….are you actually in love with Annie?" Britta tried to ask as seriously as she could._

"_I, I, I…..oh God, I can't even say it to you when I'm drunk!" Jeff finally let out. "I can't tell you and I can't tell her and I can't even look at her without…..so no more study group for me! She'll forget about me by graduation and she'll have a real life without me…..a better life like she's supposed to. Saving her from me will be my last good deed before I go back to law and lying, like I'm supposed to…."_

_Britta had seen a good part of the Jeff/Annie drama over the years, and heard some more theories from Abed while they were cleaning up after Chang this May. But to actually see Jeff be this affected by her, let alone another human being, was something to see even though he was drunk. It was also something to see him let down his arrogant jackass shields and admit he was no good for the likes of Annie…even though he spoke of wanting to do more than just have sex with her._

_Of course, Britta had no illusions that Jeff would say all this while he was sober – if he remembered it. Yet the way he spoke and sounded made her think that this wasn't some crazy drunk idea – he might really be planning to never see Annie or the group again soon. All because he didn't have the guts to show these feelings to Annie when he was sober. Not that it was a good idea to show them or that they would work out if he did….so Britta told herself._

_She kept to that when she dropped Jeff off, yet found she had to keep doing so for the next few days. And Britta just knew that if Jeff left the group and Annie, and they found out she knew about Jeff's plans in advance, Annie would destroy her eardrums before bringing her to a paintball firing squad. Then once she ingested enough paint to get cancer – exactly what those evil paint conglomerates wanted so they could wipe out future revolutionaries – she'd have to spend her last few months seeing the group fall apart._

_Well, she'd show those genocidal corporate goons. She'd tell everyone but Annie everything, work out intervention plans for Jeff and save her eardrums and body, so there!_

"And now that I've beaten cancer and cracked eardrums, I'm here to save the study group while I'm at it!" Britta wrapped up. "But I've got to give them a chance to take credit too. So we're going to go around the room, and they'll tell you how your madness with Annie has affected them personally. Then maybe you'll decide to just tell Annie how you feel and work SOMETHING out, instead of leaving us or driving us insane with your denial all year!"

Once it sunk in that Britta and the group really were trying to intervention him, Jeff sat still trying to regroup. He really didn't remember anything that night, at least after the second beer he drank so Annie wouldn't look as hot. He certainly didn't think he was capable of letting Britta drive him home and tell _her_, of all people, his plans to fade away from the group. But it didn't seem like he could just fade away or leave quietly anymore.

From the sound of it, this was the least of his problems, given what Britta claimed he said in her car. If she had been setting this up for days, then she must have made the group actually believe he said those things. Which would mean they knew his…..thoughts about Annie, and that was the second worst thing imaginable.

There was only one way out of this – a method that he had been struggling to use with Annie for two years, yet would probably work more on the group.

If they didn't want to be driven insane with denial, that was what they would get anyway.

"Britta, you are something else. You're that desperate to show off your _one year _of psych majoring? You're really using drunken, illogical ramblings as the basis of a useless intervention? I can't say I'm shocked in the slightest, just disappointed," Jeff started.

"Jeff, seriously? Ugh, you're just lucky it's Troy's turn to talk now," Britta grumbled. Yet Jeff saw how he could destabilize the intervention captain and make her subordinates useless.

"And to top it all off, you're making them believe you'd be okay with keeping me around….and okay with letting me be with Annie too. I don't know how you pulled that off so far, but I have to give you credit. It couldn't have been easy pretending to think I should be with Annie, or that Annie deserves to steal _another_ ex from you. I don't see how you pretended this group wouldn't be less sexist and anti-feminist without me, though. You betrayed your ideals and your gender just to show off at a phony intervention…..an intervention over things you know I didn't mean or don't believe. And you can't tell me you're not happy or relieved that I didn't mean them….can you?" Jeff moved in for the kill, as he was starting to forget that this was denial at all.

"SHE SAID IT'S TROY'S TIME TO TALK!" Unfortunately, Jeff knew that this shrill girly voice didn't belong to Britta. Troy's screech gave Britta just enough time to regroup and nod her thanks at him. Unfortunately for Jeff, he was too disappointed to notice or mock Britta's longer than usual thank-you glare at Troy. Instead, he just prepared to deflect whatever Troy said, confident that it wouldn't take much effort.

Troy stood up and got out his speech on a piece of paper, then read it robotically. "Jeff, you are making a big mistake not getting down with Annie. I mean, have you looked at her? If she looked like that when I was in high school, I would have hooked up with her and then the study group would never have been born. Then I'd probably have to go back in time to bang my own mom just so I could meet Abed. And then I'd have to visit the future and stop Pierce from using a sports almanac, then go back to Western times and help Abed fall in love with Mary Steenburgen. As if that wouldn't help me get over losing Lea Thompson – I mean, I could have totally changed my name to Calvin and gotten Pierce's damn hands off her too," Troy finished with no emotion since he was still just reading – which made Jeff scoff that he actually wrote like this too.

"Troy, no matter how much you want to believe it, our lives are not the 'Back to the Future' trilogy," Jeff said to pop Troy's bubble.

"Aside from no flying DeLoreans, how are they not, Jeff? HOW ARE THEY NOT?" Troy broke down now that he wasn't reading prepared speeches anymore. But a particularly intense frown from Britta seemed to get him a bit calmer. In fact, Troy went on to speak something he hadn't written down.

"Seriously Jeff, it's not cool that you'd rather leave us than be with Annie. She was all crazy and sad years ago because I never noticed her, but I didn't know she existed back then. You don't have that excuse, though. Now I wish I had noticed her sooner, 'cause now she's my best friend other than Abed _and_ the coolest girl I know – uh, coolest _brunette_ girl, I mean!" Troy corrected quickly and suspiciously before calming back down. "Anyway, I was lucky enough to make things right with her when I broke her heart. I don't think you'd be that lucky, and I think it'd really screw you up big time, man. The end," Troy punctuated with an awkward thumbs up and grin.

"Thank you, Troy….you barely made up for some early mistakes rather nicely," Britta stated with an awkward mix of snark and sincerity. But she managed to get all serious again when she addressed Abed. "Abed, you're up next."

"Well, this should be….clinical, to say the least," Jeff stated, relieved that Abed wasn't capable of unexpected seriousness like Troy was. "What movie or TV intervention character do you have for us, Abed?"

Abed stood up and naturally didn't need to read anything from a piece of paper. "Jeff, you have brought us into a rather dramatic crossroads, which is rather fitting for a final season. Thankfully this is taking place off camera from our allotted school time, or this would be an overly dramatic premiere and a poor sign for the last year. I mean, considering we fought tooth and nail and used every imaginable campaign against….Chang just to get a fourth year, we can't afford to end on a low note. And quite frankly, having a main character leave the cast for the final year just doesn't work. Even if you came back in the finale to give us some last minute dignity again, it'd be too late."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not leaving and you don't have to think about it ever again. Thank you for making me see the light, Abed, so…..intervention over," Jeff tried to weasel out.

"Really, Jeff? You thought I couldn't tell you were lying and planned to leave us anyway? Then again, you did seem to think I didn't know anything about you and Annie, and you somehow thought they didn't either. But that denial is in character, so I can't complain," Abed assured.

"There is nothing to deny, so stop trying to denial things that aren't there!" Jeff insisted.

"Jeff, even if it's still too early for you two to get together, you should at least be past denying there's _anything _there. Pretty soon, no one will believe you when you do finally want her. Especially Annie, and especially when she shows up with a special guest boyfriend in the middle of the year to provide a last minute, completely illogical and way too predictable love triangle resolution. That would be a pretty insulting and disappointing way to pay off these last four years," Abed analyzed.

"Wait, what did you say about the special guest boyfriend?" was all Jeff could ask, as he latched onto the first and only thing from that speech which made sense to him. But since it also made him look angry and jealous, Jeff quickly tried to look deadpan again, although it was too late.

"Ah, the old jealous and yet trying not to be jealous tactic. Frankly Jeff, you're just reusing a better storyline from year two now. If you're going to repeat old plots and stall tactics, you're going to jump the shark before you even get together," Abed warned.

"Abed, there is no getting together here! Besides, haven't all your shows been ruined when your favorite couples get together? As a viewer, shouldn't you root for realism and unpredictability, and a little thing called real life by having _no one _hook up or change anything?" Jeff pounced, confident he had Abed now.

"I admit, there is a high risk factor here. But if you delayed it to the end without any time to see you in a real relationship, it would be a cheat. Yet if you did it too early, then you'd jump the shark before long. Doing it now would be just right, though. It would signal that we wouldn't draw things out in the final season, and go in a different but still fan friendly direction to wrap it all up. Then we could still stretch out a whole year of seeing you two together, and by the time you could jump the shark, it would all be over anyway," Abed started to conclude.

"It would be risky, but if it's done with the humor, hilarity, unexpected pathos and chemistry that you've had for three years, it could really pay off. In truth, seeing you pile up new excuses is starting to turn off impatient, worried, aggravated yet still hopeful viewers who want to see you find happiness in each other already." On the off chance that Abed was aware he wasn't just talking about 'viewers,' it didn't show on his face one bit.

"Okay….we had to wade through some gibberish, but like always, I think Abed gave us some kettle corns of truth underneath," Britta tried to defend.

"Kettle corn, where?" Pierce finally spoke up now that he was out of cookie crumbs and his sugar high was coming down.

"Pierce, we haven't heard your unique perspective yet," Jeff reminded, knowing that he took a risk by acting like he _wanted_ to hear Pierce's uniqueness. But if anyone could make these arguments look horrible just by agreeing with them, Pierce could.

"Jeff, normally I'd praise you for following your heart, leaving your sham heterosexuality behind and going into the world to find the true men of your dreams," Pierce started, as predictably offensive as expected. "But beards aren't what they used to be, you know. They have Tweeter and Facesmash and MyBook and all kinds of spaces to force you out of the closet before you're ready! If you need a good beard until you're ready, why look out there when there's a perfectly good one near your backdoor?"

"Okay, I am _not _leading the _dozens_ of interventions he needs, let's get that clear right now!" Britta groaned.

"You're mad at _that?_ I only said he'll never find someone as good as Annie, and that he'll regret running from the only woman that could ever make him happy! What did you _think_ I said?" Pierce asked, sounding generally ignorant to what his first speech actually was. "You must have lost your hearing because you're in a gay sync-up with Jeff or something. With that kind of defect, it's a good thing your people can't breed."

"All right, so let's focus on the _one _thing he said that we shouldn't scrub from our minds forever!" Britta pushed. "That means three of us approve of you and Annie, and this is a group of five! They're the majority, so that means you lose, Jeff!"

"Wait a minute, since when do you _not_ want the minority to be heard, Britta?" Jeff pointed out, thankful that Britta gave him an opening. "It seems the captain became a dictator without hearing the full will of the people."

"Ha, I warned you! You're lucky I'll still lead the revolution, but the credit for overthrowing the ovaries is all mine!" Pierce demanded. The group collectively shrugged it off, knowing he'd have his sugar crash and go to sleep soon enough. Yet Jeff got back on track first and insisted, "Anyway, unless Britta wants to keep acting like a white corporate oppressor, she'll let Shirley chime in her two cents now."

Now Jeff felt pretty confident again, as either Shirley would threaten his manhood enough to make him change his name and get into Witness Protection, or Britta would get mad enough to just let him walk away. Judging from Britta's scowl, he was probably halfway there on the latter goal. However, Shirley wasn't laying into Jeff and calling him an unholy sex demon right now – although she was visibly biting her tongue. "Shirley, two cents?" Jeff chimed in.

"Jeff, I'm not here to comment on….certain ideas of yours. I'm here because I don't want you to leave the group and never see us again. Why should we be punished because of…..those certain thoughts that you could always stop with vasectomies and ding-dong cutting? I know that's extreme, but it's better than wearing some sexual predator ankle around your leg, right?" Shirley then caught herself as Jeff looked both satisfied and grossed out and Britta hid her face in her hand.

"I'm sorry, I don't want it cut off….I'm sure some mid 30's woman will find it quite nice one day. But why should you have to find that woman on your own? I have some nice, single, experienced friends from church who can satisfy you _and_ save your soul! So there you go! You get to keep us, save Annie and see a couple of lights, it all works out!" Shirley offered.

"Shirley, there are too many things wrong with that plan, so I'll just list one," Britta responded. "What do you think Annie will do when she sees you setting Jeff up? When that backfires, we'll need an intervention to keep _her _from leaving us too!"

"Does that mean we can elect a new captain for _that _intervention?" Troy asked. "Then I want to either run for the job, be Abed's vice president, or be a third party candidate to split the vote for Abed. I can't decide which….I guess we'll need an election for that, too! So who wants to be third party me's campaign manager?"

"Fine, I didn't need your vote anyway! I think my record as captain for _this _intervention speaks for itself! Troy, Abed and even Pierce don't want Jeff to run away from Annie, and even Shirley doesn't hate it enough to want him out of the group! I'm still declaring your plans boned, Jeff!" Britta proclaimed.

"And yet we still haven't gotten to the final voice of the evening," Jeff reminded. "Our decorated captain….you never did answer why you don't want me to run away or steer clear of Annie. Why would _you_, of all people, want me to do the opposite?"

Now that Britta was on the defensive, Jeff expected bumbling, incompetent Britta to Britta this and do all the work for him. Yet she still tried to string competent words together and state, "Okay, so maybe I still don't think you and Annie are the best idea in the world. But it's not the _worst _idea….at least not bad enough to make you leave the group! And as much as I might wish you'd leave because you made me say this….the group needs you. Our last year here should be spent together, not ruined because you don't have a pair! Granted, having a pair is what makes men cause all the world's problems, but you get my other point!"

"Your desperation knows no bounds, Britta," Jeff answered defensively. "But asking me to think that the group wants us to 'talk about our feelings' and 'got together'….you think anyone's buying that?"

"The group doesn't care, Jeff, didn't you get that already?" Britta illuminated. "Three of us want you to go for it, and two of us just want to keep our eyes on you after you do! None of us actually hate you for being in love with Annie, no matter how much you imagined it to hide your own fear! You're out of excuses now, pal!"

"So I'm going to trust people who would let a middle aged, lying, cheating pervert corrupt a little girl?" Jeff reached.

"Jeff, you jackass, Annie's not _that _corruptible anymore at this point! And it's not like your corruption powers are that strong anymore, either! And as much as I want to crush your pair for making me admit this….Greendale has made you better," Britta conceded. "She's made you better too, so maybe letting her finish the job wouldn't be that bad for you."

"Oh, now you sound just like her!" Jeff suddenly spat out. "I kept chasing you after the debate and sleeping with you in that second year because you _weren't_ her! Don't let this captain nonsense take away the only good qualities you have left!"

That was just the below the belt slam Jeff needed to make Britta speechless. And in truth, why _shouldn't _have he gone below there?

He wouldn't be here if Britta hadn't tricked him into thinking she wasn't a Britta three years ago. Then he wouldn't have formed the study group and met Annie, and then Britta couldn't have started nagging at Jeff's awesomeness before Annie lowered the boom. Come to think of it, all these people had done nothing but make his life a complicated mess – and they couldn't even make it easier on him tonight.

Jeff was supposed to have breezed through his first three years here already and been one step away from returning to the courtroom. Nothing like….all this was supposed to get in his way, much less a girl, a Britta and these other lunatics. Now he was finally taking steps to get these….complications out of his life for good, and they just wouldn't let him go. Hell, he was just going to leave them all behind in a year anyway, so one would think they'd _want _him to get it over with now. But they had to be masochistic and idiotic as well as little children….

Well, it was time for the Greendale dad to put his foot down once and for all. And with Britta still trying to vocalize her outrage, this was the perfect place to lead off.

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you _shocked _that I insulted you? You, more than anyone, know that's what I do best. I put down my opponents, decimate them with wit and brilliance, and point out just how misguided and wrong they really are. And when you got it as wrong as you did with Annie….as you _all _got it wrong….it's your own fault I had to bring my A-game."

Jeff then moved into his A-plus game to start driving the nail in, as the words kept coming out before he could think about any of them. "And you're wrong about me leaving too. Because you know what? I've decided I might just stick around after all. But it won't be to do anything about Annie, or let her finish changing me, or to get together before any 'finales' either! I'm going to do what I always do….nothing if I can help it, or something only at the last moment, or anything that doesn't involve work or feelings or nonsense like that!"

And still the bile kept coming, and still Jeff's brain was completely turned off to anything but his anger. "If I make Annie think there's anything more to that, or if she gets too close before I come to my senses, then that's much more her fault by now! If I keep pushing her away when she gets delusional, then that's my right too! If she's still deluded enough to think there's supposed to be anything more than that, and if you people do too, then her and you people deserve whatever misery you get! That's the Jeff Winger you got when I came here, and I'm going out the same way! And no crazy ex-pill head, pretentious buzz kill, movie freak, brain damaged jock, religious nut job or….Pierce is going to keep ruining that anymore! Game, set, match, Winger!"

Jeff basked in his opponents' stunned silence and defeated looks, much like he would when beating another lawyer in court. The old Jeff Winger was finally back, and he would stay back for this last year of torture. He'd breeze through two more semesters, learn to get Annie and her feelings away from him, and get himself back to where he was supposed to be in summer 2013 after all.

All that was left for tonight was to see Britta concede defeat and admit she was a big failure again.

And then she slapped him instead.

_Hard._

When Jeff could finally deal with the pain enough to turn his head back, he saw that Britta didn't look apologetic or embarrassed or in over her head like usual. She was just still furious. And yet her voice was at a relatively calm, angry level.

"You're absolutely right, Jeff. Asking a man like you to be anything new is stupid. We all should have known better by now. If that's true, then we don't need to have you rub it in for one more year, and neither does Annie. You can go ahead with your original plan and leave…quit the study group and run away from us forever, if you want! But if you leave this room right now, then I for one am not going to let you back in here ever again, and I won't let you go near Annie again either. Even if you try to make us take you back later, you'll just get a few more of those blows to the head instead….among other places."

Before Jeff or anyone else could say anything, Britta made a few angry stammers and carried her chair over to the closed study room front door. Although she had just told Jeff to leave, she sat in front of the door and blocked his way out anyway.

"Just for old times sake, I'm giving you _one _more chance to save your face and anything else I can crush. We're all going to sit here quietly for the next five minutes, and you're going to stay quiet and do some thinking. Maybe once you calm down and see what you're doing, you'll see you don't want to leave this room and never come back after all. And maybe once you realize you'll never be Annie's friend or anything else again if you leave now, you might not think leaving is such a good idea."

Before Jeff voiced any objections, Britta shut him down again. "Uh uh, you're done talking this time, Jeff! You've got _five _minutes to shut up and think things through for once! Then I'm opening this door and if you leave, you're not getting in ever again….not to see us, and not to see Annie. I know I don't deserve my last year to be ruined by a jackass ex-friend, and I'm confident that Annie doesn't either."

With Britta not budging, and with the scene too emotional for anyone to remember there was an unguarded back door, it seemed that Britta's word was law. "Okay….five minutes of silence from _everyone_….starting now!" Britta proclaimed as she checked her watch and started counting down from five minutes.

The first of those minutes went by with Britta folding her arms and making sure Jeff didn't move an inch from his seat. Jeff just folded his arms right back, still content to be ticked off and run out the clock until Britta finally let him leave. If there was any doubt that he wouldn't miss Britta – especially when she was in annoying useless cause mode – it was gone now.

Who was Britta to give him these ultimatums? As if slaps and crushed pairs would really keep him away from the study room if he ever came back there. And it wasn't as if she could keep him from seeing Annie every minute of the day. This was a small school where there were few places to hide, as Chang and the Dean made very clear to him over the years. If Britta thought she could keep Annie from ever being near him again, it was clearly not going to happen.

This just made her suck even more, because that was what Jeff wanted to happen. So Britta wouldn't even be able to get that right. So that meant keeping away from Annie would be useless….at least the way Britta did it. Yet Jeff had avoided her for a whole summer after the Transfer Dance, and he kept her from asking more annoying questions about it after that first day. He'd find a way to never have to face her or her aggravating demands or those stupid tears ever again.

Of course, Jeff would have to make sure he never saw her _ever _again. Since Britta and the group couldn't be trusted to keep Annie on a leash, she'd try to track Jeff down anyway. And even though tonight should make her come to her senses and see it was useless to be associated with Jeff, she'd still go nuts and demand answers from him anyway. Answers she'd try to get with those stupid, sad Disney tears, childish, quivering gooey voice and those big, inhuman, unnaturally crystal blue eyes.

Then she'd resort to that so-called formidable face she used when she pretended to be an adult, instead of a kid who went to rehab and got kicked out of her house….and became sexy and stayed an A student…..and was the only reason that Jeff's four year graduation plan was still intact. And who was the only human being alive that Jeff didn't mind losing to….or maybe actually liked losing to so he could revel in how resourceful and tough and fearless she really was….a fearlessness that Jeff could never expect to match….

Well, that tore it then. Jeff really could _never, ever _even _look _at Annie again after these next….two minutes or so. Even thinking about her was out. But somehow, not seeing her should stop Jeff from thinking about her and it would get her out of his head forever.

If he couldn't see her light up at the start of every day, or see the special smiles she reserved for everyone and him, or notice her love and compassion for everyone long enough to think it wasn't ridiculous….or witness how she never wanted anyone to feel as alone and unloved as she once was, no matter how much her recipients didn't deserve it….then he wouldn't have to think about it.

And now two straight years of thinking about it would have to be wiped away in under 90 seconds.

He'd just replace it with other things, like mocking Britta's moronic story about what he said to her in the car last week….even if thinking about it made it feel like it was actually true.

If that didn't work, he'd find new friends and a new group to distract him, although it took three years to break in the old one….and finding people as….easy to break in as this group couldn't be done in just one.

But he lived without Britta, Abed, Troy, Shirley and Pierce before, and he would certainly do it again.

As for living without seeing Annie again…..

Like he said, as for living without seeing Annie again….

Across from Jeff, Britta's thoughts were going all over the place too. As her five minute deadline came closer, she was less and less convinced that it would pay off. The more she thought about it, trusting Jeff, of all people, to have a serious epiphany in five minutes of silence was idiotic. But Britta wasn't thinking – she just slapped Jeff and put together that ultimatum without a second thought in her head. That wasn't like her, yet even when she was going on instinct instead of planning out the right politically correct move – and _occasionally_ failing – it wasn't working anyway.

Now Jeff was going to leave forever and everyone was going to take it out on Britta. Especially Annie, who'd put her in front of that paintball firing squad – as if seeing her heartbroken and crying her eyes out wouldn't be torture enough. Especially the group, because without Jeff, they'd need a new full time leader – and the only capable replacements would be failed intervention captain Britta and hysterical Annie. Thanks to that, the group would be finished before they could even have one more Halloween special. And it would be all Britta's fault for not keeping them and Jeff together – or so they'd say.

Why did they need to take their cues from Jeff, anyway? And why the hell did Britta care what he did or didn't do, _who _he did or didn't want to do, and whether he wanted to be here or not? He was still a jagweed after three years, a lousy lover and the second most sexist person in this group. And he only formed this group just to have sex with her, and that was still gross even now!

Leaving aside how if he wasn't that gross, she never would have met Troy or Annie or Abed or Pierce or Shirley – and she wouldn't have had friends for this long for the first time either. If Britta really wanted to stretch it, Jeff could qualify as a friend too – which was something since Jeff didn't keep women as "friends" per se. In fact, she doubted that Jeff had ever been friends for this long with a woman he wanted to have sex with; or friends with someone he stopped having sex with.

Annie might have won his heart in the end, yet Britta was really Jeff's first long lasting female friend – and that was an accomplishment in a way. Maybe if Jeff hadn't learned to be friends with Britta, it might not have led to him wanting someone like Annie in a deeper way….which still didn't sound as impossible as it should have been by now.

But now it would be. Now Jeff's first and maybe only chance at finding love would be ruined because Britta failed. Now he'd go back to being the same jackhole she met three years ago, and that was just sick – especially after he wasn't….all _that _sick for the whole last three years. And Annie….after this, she probably wouldn't let Britta see her again and might never trust anyone again. So many people had let her down in her life and she still survived anyway – and now Britta would be one of the two people who finally broke her. This was not a great honor to have at all.

Neither was the one where she Britta'd the entire study group. Jeff was breaking it apart too, but Britta had finished killing it by failing to stop him. It took long enough, yet Britta finally managed to destroy the one – or rather six – good things she had in her life. Now she would have to live with that all year and for all the years afterwards. As if it wasn't torture enough to know that no matter how badly this ended, she would _still _miss Jeff, miss Annie, and miss how she wasn't independent enough to move on without friends – at least _these _friends.

Once that got through to her, Britta focused on her watch in lue of looking at Jeff. Although she knew she'd probably never see him again after these last….15 seconds, she still couldn't take a last look at him. She just waited for the five minute deadline to pass, and when it did, she muttered "Okay, then," and got up to open the door.

After opening the door all the way, Britta stood behind it and waited to hear Jeff walk out. Hopefully she would still be composed enough afterwards to face the group and take their Britta bashing. If she couldn't endure those things, she'd never make it through facing Annie later. So she held back a little sad gasp – as if they couldn't mock her enough already without her crying – and kept waiting to hear Jeff leave forever.

But after several moments, she still didn't hear a thing. Maybe Jeff was just waiting for her to look at him so he could rub it in her face. Well, maybe one last parting slap would save some dignity, or at least give Britta a fighting chance to keep one or two friends on her side.

Yet when she closed the door again, she saw that Jeff wasn't standing nearby. In fact, he was still sitting at his chair. And since Britta hadn't heard any footsteps….he might have been sitting there the whole time. Which meant he wasn't leaving….right?

Britta carefully approached Jeff's chair and carefully asked, "It's been five minutes, Jeff….are you leaving or not?" When Jeff started to get up, Britta was ready to groan at her own stupidity and beat the others to the punch. But she soon noticed that Jeff was straining to try and get out of his chair, and yet couldn't get up anyway. He was trying to leave, and….something inside him wasn't letting him. Or maybe someone….

"Oh my God, it worked….you can't leave, can you?" Britta tentatively bragged as Jeff sat back down. "You don't want to leave us or Annie forever. Not for real. And I said you had to leave if you were going to keep stringing Annie along….so you don't want to do that too! You _do _want to work things out with Annie after all!"

"This….doesn't prove a single thing," Jeff tried to respond.

"He's weakening," Abed stated, although the group didn't need Abed's mind reading to figure that out. "All he needs is one final revelation, and we can cue the heart swelling romantic background music," Abed declared as he pulled out a tape recorder.

"Hold on now, we already kept Jeffrey in the group like we wanted," Shirley chimed in. "Shouldn't we take just that and call it a win?"

"Shirley, we're not going to keep doing this all year! We have to settle all this now, even if it doesn't end the way you or I might want! You of all people should-" And with that, Britta was ready to enter the intervention hall of fame. "All right, Jeff…..if you're still not sure, I think Shirley has something that'll convince you!"

"When did I do that, _captain?_" Shirley inquired.

"When you told me how you decided to get back together with Andre." For some reason that Jeff didn't know whether to be relieved at, Shirley froze and sat back down. This left him with no choice but to actually look at Britta again.

"Jeff, I want you to do one final thing for me. I want you to close your eyes, and then think of the _exact _things I tell you to think about. You're not going anywhere until you do, so let's get this over with now." Jeff had no idea why Britta wanted him to do this, yet at this point, he just wanted it all to be over _somehow_. If this would get him towards an ending he didn't have to beat himself up over forever, he had no choice left.

So Jeff closed his eyes and emptied his mind, although as always, Britta's voice didn't help him do that. "All right, Jeff…..let's say you're wrong and you _do _have deeper feelings for Annie, let's just say that for a second." Jeff nearly opened his eyes then and there, yet he found that they were staying shut. "I do know that you can't say them out loud, for whatever dumb reasons I already tore apart tonight. But if you can't do that, you can at least say them in your mind. So I want you to keep closing your eyes, picture Annie in your head, and tell her everything you can't say to the real Annie. Then just watch and see what happens when you actually take a chance on her….at least in your mind."

Jeff still didn't know what this was supposed to prove, or why Britta had brought up Shirley and Andre before hand. Yet Jeff was getting pretty tired of fighting and thinking about things, so he resigned himself to picture Britta's scenario. Soon enough, he envisioned that he was alone in the study room – except for Annie, who was standing in front of him and looking as bubbly as ever, as if she was waiting for something.

In the real world, Britta focused on Jeff's face and waited for it to change, depending on what his vision was. As Shirley explained it when she used this tactic two years ago, she had imagined what life could be like if she took Andre back and let him try to put their family back together. To make sure Jeff did it right like she did, Britta clarified, "Jeff, if you can hear me, tell dream Annie everything you haven't told the real Annie! And then imagine what would happen if she accepted you! Do not think of what might go wrong, just focus on things going right until further notice!"

But Jeff was already doing that in the dream. He was going through a rapid fire mix of Winger speeches and actual heartfelt words, explaining all his fears, feelings and desires that he kept tooth and nail from the real Annie. And as Britta's voice instructed, Jeff made himself imagine that he wasn't scared off, that she wanted to be with him for plausible reasons, and that he was fully ready to face the risks and the long odds anyway.

Somehow, when Jeff imagined that….he and dream Jeff felt a little lighter.

In fact, he even started to imagine how he and dream Annie overcame those long odds and their annoying issues, until he heard Britta speak again. "Are you imagining your life together, Jeff? Good. Now I want you to picture what would happen if you never said anything at all. Imagine a world where you kept stringing Annie along, took her for granted and let her slip completely away. After the happier world you just imagined, picturing this one should be…..very different."

Jeff was getting annoyed again, yet he figured he'd get through this before picturing the last world again. So he used his imagination and put together a world where he didn't make those dream confessions; where Annie was still at arm's length and stayed there for the entire year. And it was indeed no fun at all.

In fact, after the heights he reached in the last world, the one where he never confessed was not a pleasant sight.

He saw himself have regular old fun with Annie, while now remembering the fake memories of how they had even….greater fun before. He saw himself find new reasons to keep Annie away from him – which was much harder to picture after he had seen a world where it wasn't a problem. And when he got to envisioning graduation, having a formal goodbye with Annie and going off to never see her or anyone again….the worried gasp he heard from Shirley told him how his distress must look in the real world.

"Great, Jeff, that's great!" Jeff heard Britta in a cheerful tone that sounded evil to him, under the circumstances. "You saw how good things can be with Annie, and it made you hate the life where you never took a chance! That's how Shirley felt when she pictured life with and without Andre again! She wanted to take the risk that the good dream could be real, no matter how….understandably misguided it looked at the time! So now that you've seen life with and without Annie, I want you to imagine the dream life with her again...since you know how close it came to never happening."

Jeff brushed through most of Britta's voice over and focused on getting dream Annie back near him again. And as Britta instructed, he went back to thinking that he had won her over and told her everything. And as he now remembered Britta saying, it felt….more meaningful to picture this now that he had seen the alternative. It was like picturing _It's A Wonderful Life _in the world of _Inception, _or some other movie mash-up he didn't have time to ask Abed about.

Right now, he just wanted to have his good dream world with Annie before Britta brought the rotten one back. As such, Jeff got out as much as he could to dream Annie, in case the fantasy came crashing down any second. He also pictured them on dates together, watching TV and playing games in Jeff's apartment, Greendale adventures without sexual tension and repressed feelings hanging over them….

Jeff didn't even go to the sexy stuff until what felt like much later. The mere fact it took him this long to picture sex with gorgeous Annie Edison had to say something. But now that it was getting sexy, it must have been read all over his face, as Britta's disgusted voice soon called out "Okay Jeff, wrap up the sex fantasies, all right?"

Jeff groaned – either from Britta's request or dream Annie's little maneuvers. But eventually, he gave in and went back to picturing them with their clothes on. In fact, it was the morning after sex, and neither he nor Annie had gone anywhere. Jeff was actually spending the next day with a woman after sex, and they were _still _finding things to talk about, laugh about and plan out together. He always did imagine that if anyone could do that, Annie could….after all, he had never found as many things to do with a woman _before _having sex as he had with her. Not even Britta.

Jeff had always found ways to get around these facts before. But seeing them play out fully in his mind, then having them taken away, only to find them again…..it made them impossible to hide now. His logical mind knew that there was no way it could be this perfect in reality, as he and Annie really weren't….these dream people.

But his logical mind kept him from having this for two years. So how trustworthy or wise could it be?

And since his dream mind had pictured an Annie as close to the real version as possible….had it really reached in picturing this dream, honest Jeff as well?

The dream honest Jeff certainly felt better than the dream dishonest one, this was for sure.

"Okay, Jeff….now I want you to open your eyes."

For once, Jeff did exactly what Britta said without any second thoughts. When he did that, he saw that Britta was holding up a mirror in front of his face. What's more, the mirror was showing that he had the goofiest, stupidest…..and yet happiest smile he had ever seen on his face.

From what Shirley told Britta, when she saw her happy smile after she imagined a new life with Andre, it inspired her to give him a chance to make it real. Somehow, it might have actually worked on Jeff too.

Jeff had put together the plan as well. Get him in a happy fantasy world of what things could be, make him regret losing it, give it back and then see in the real world just how happy it made him. And how happy he might be in reality if he made that world real. And how a part of him might be determined to earn that real world and stop himself from tearing it apart. Maybe even multiple parts….

"Oh Jeffrey, you need to be with Annie right now!" That was the most unlikely thing he expected to hear in the real world – and from the most unlikely person. The next thing he knew, his face was buried in Shirley's shoulder as she hugged him and kept talking. "Even _I _didn't look _that _much in love when I saw my face in the mirror! Dream Andre did a number on me, but my Lord, dream Annie must have been an angel! And since real Annie is close to an angel too, maybe there's hope for your soul yet!"

"Gee….my soul feels so flattered, Shirley," Jeff muffled into Shirley's shoulder, now that he felt snarky again. However, even that one-liner wasn't enough to shake off Shirley's words, the face he saw himself make, or what he had finished imagining. If that wasn't enough, Jeff even saw Britta struggle to stay emotionless once Shirley let go of him.

"I, uh….have to admit, I never pictured you making _those _faces before. The sex one I knew all too well, of course….but I never imagined the other ones," Britta conceded. "So it's really true, then? About…..dream Jeff being in love with dream Annie?"

Jeff appreciated Britta trying to give him a cover for his answer. Yet covers probably couldn't cut it at this point. But if he couldn't even say it while he was drunk….so with that and with dream Annie still kept on deck in his brain, he got out a "Yeah." Granted, his facial muscles and his voice made it like he was vomiting up the word "Yeah," and he didn't correct Britta in saying real Jeff was in love with real Annie.

Before he finally resolved to correct himself, however, Shirley cheered and hugged him again. Suddenly he preferred it if Shirley was castrating him for this instead – somewhat. "Oh, I never thought I'd see the day that Jeffrey was in love! I call dibs on planning the wedding and baby showers!"

"Shirley, ixnay the WB words! Don't ruin this for your captain!" Britta ordered, clearly wanting to preserve her victory. Yet it was for naught in one respect, as Jeff lost his window to be more truthful in real life – for tonight anyway. However, he could tell one little, smaller truth. "Even if I….wished I could say stuff that dream Jeff would say….or not screw up like idiot dream Jeff…..I have no idea how." Then he got just a little braver and asked, "Does it help if I say I do wish I did?"

"That's great, admitting you have a problem is the first step! It took three years and you have about 256 more problems to confess to, but we'll start small!" Britta proclaimed. "Okay, so maybe we can't help you with being sappy and lovey-dovey. But we already stopped you from making a huge mistake and leaving the group! Technically, _I_ did most of the work and _I _stole Shirley's idea and _I'm_ the captain, but I'm feeling generous with credit tonight!"

"FYI, when I'm president or vice president in the next intervention, I'll be willing to let you guys do _all _the work. Just something to remember in the voting booth," Troy offered.

"The point is, we can keep you in check from _really _screwing up if you let us, Jeff. And as for confessing to Annie…I think the last few years have proved that when you want to do something for her, you tend to go all out. It's one of the few things you put a real effort into. Now that you've admitted you want to do it, just put in that effort, and Annie will nail the rest for you like she always does," Britta reminded Jeff.

"Nail…." But thankfully, Pierce slipped into his sugar nap before he finished that thought. This probably signaled that it was time to leave soon, before Pierce started a more violent sugar nap dream than usual. So the group kept their distance from the table as Britta reopened the door again.

"Well, I guess I've got to revise my first day of the semester speech by Tuesday," Jeff opened up. "That probably won't make up for everything, but I've got to start somewhere."

"Oh, you will, Jeffrey. Who could resist that holy dream Jeff face?" Shirley still gushed. "I might get Pierce's Facesmash thing just to put pictures of it on there!"

"Okay, so now I _wish _you wanted me castrated for loving Annie after all, good to know," Jeff quipped without seeming to realize his choice of words. Shirley and Troy girlishly gasped, and Britta somehow discreetly shushed them before Jeff noticed. However, Jeff was focused on her instead. "So Britta….should I wish you'd objected rather than…..approved like you did instead? Is that what it was?"

In the midst of all this, Britta hadn't given her official approval of Jeff and Annie. As such, she thought carefully over what she wanted to say. "Like I said….you two aren't the worst thing in the world, but you're not the best either. I have lots of reasons to be mad and suspicious and resentful of both of you! But….and I will use chemicals on your precious junk _and _nipples if you make me repeat this…..I don't want to lose you or Annie or this group because of it. I'm like Annie was before the Spanish final….I kept everyone together by doing the craziest, dumbest thing imaginable!"

"So me and Annie are like making everyone flunk Spanish. Glad to see we don't have a high bar to go over," Jeff deflected.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" Britta scoffed although it probably wasn't the most fitting phrase. "Anyway, what does it matter? We're a study group and….a bit more because of you, and we're more educated people….in a bunch of different ways, because of Annie. If you getting together is what it takes to keep you two with us and be happy…..maybe that's worth swallowing a valid concern or two."

"What valid concern? Don't you go all Shirley on those two, or I'm leading a mutiny on you, you hear?" Shirley stated without a trace of self-awareness.

"Okay, I guess I should clear out before the revolution starts. I do have some….plans to make and all," Jeff hinted. "So….thanks for the text, and I'll see you on Tuesday."

While Jeff did confirm he was sticking around, Britta had wished for more emotion to prove he'd have some for Annie soon. "And Britta? I will become a dog person and give money to BP for life if you make me do this again. But…."

Before Britta could rant about dogs and BP, Jeff went over and gave her an honest to God hug. After she slapped him – with a LONG overdue slap at that – he was still actually thanking her with non sexual human contact. Maybe Annie really had done a number on him….

Britta just patted him on the back and actually considered hugging him too, now that he was coming back and she didn't have to admit how much she'd have missed him. But it was probably fortunate that their moment was interrupted by sappy music from Abed's tape recorder. "Sorry, I probably should have played this when Shirley hugged Jeff. But playing sentimental music for a hug between non sentimental people is a more unique ending."

"Right, right…well, let's save some original stuff for him and Annie, okay?" Britta joked as she and Jeff broke away quickly.

"All right, I guess I've got to be original now. So….again, see you on Tuesday," Jeff nodded. "Really….see you on Tuesday," he repeated as a code word for thank you. Britta knowingly nodded and waved him off as Jeff finally took his leave.

After he was far away enough, Britta turned back to the study room. "Do you think your camera caught that last part, Abed?" she double checked.

"We were probably too far for my hidden camera to get the audio, but I'm sure it caught you hugging. I'm sure Annie will love that touch when she sees it. It should make her forgive you for slapping Jeff, at least," Abed theorized.

The intervention was merely stage one of tonight's plan. Part two involved using one of Abed's hidden cameras to record all this, then show what happened to Annie if all went well. Jeff had made big progress tonight – but not enough to make them think there was no chance he wouldn't back out of talking with Annie. So once they showed Annie what he had admitted, it would be harder for him to back away, just in case – and they'd have time to coach Annie on how not to scare him off too.

"You get that, Annie?" Britta called out to wherever Abed hid his camera. "You know, a less evolved woman would lord this over you all year! How you owe your future boyfriend and this group staying together because of me and all. I could have chosen not to help you two, and you know why! But I rose above it because that's who I am, just a rising above it kind of female! Of course, if you couldn't rise above Jeff and you had to kick his junk once or twice to get him back in line, that's your right as an evolved woman too!"

"You turned off the camera before she started talking, didn't you?" Troy quietly asked Abed, to which Abed pulled out his remote for his hidden camera. "Yeah, but I figured we owed her this one thing after tonight," Abed clarified.

"But if you're too evolved for Jeff, that's his fault! The people who put him there had nothing to do with it, so their moment of triumph still stands!" Britta proclaimed as if Annie would actually hear her later. "In fact, we triumphed for all woman kind by taking Jeff Winger off the market! Today we fixed Jeff, then tomorrow its radio talk hosts, then it'll be Congress by next week, and then their all powerful masters in Wall-" Yet Pierce's sleep growling and sugar twitching scared Britta into shutting up before the group's groans did it for him. "Okay, I can write the rest in Cliff Notes for her, let's go get the tape now! Last captain's order!"

With that, Abed went over and found his hidden recording of the intervention, then the group left before Pierce could start his rampage.

The next night, they visited Annie during a rare moment when she wasn't re-cataloging her new notebooks and textbooks. After they started playing the intervention for her, they somehow survived her happy crying rampage at the start, barely endured her epic meltdown when she heard Jeff's rants, stopped her from biting her nails completely off during Britta's five minutes of silence, and eventually kept their eardrums intact when she squealed in joy at the end. And in between all the hugs and Annie nearly breaking Britta's back with her embraces, they helped her to properly prepare for whatever Jeff had planned on Tuesday.

By Tuesday, all of Greendale was on edge for whatever the study group's last over the top first day ordeal would be. Yet the group and Greendale as a whole found it somewhat anticlimactic when they learned all Jeff and Annie did to sort things out was talk. Apparently all the crazy stunts for that plotline had been used up in the intervention.

Of course, the group had tons more insanity the rest of the year to correct that, since this was the finale year and it had to be 10 times more epic by law – or at least try to be by any means necessary.

But for all the epic, occasionally classic and occasionally repetitive group adventures, they never needed an intervention captain to deal with Jeff and Annie again.

They did come close when they planned an intervention for their PDA – but the famed accusations of voter fraud in the captain's elections derailed that. Yet that's an entirely different chapter of Greendale infamy.


End file.
